Is it so easy to “Just breathe”?

 

We’ve all heard the saying, “just breathe “. Maybe it’s on a social media page, said to us when we’re upset and someone is trying to soothe us, in a yoga class, by a spiritualist, or in a meditation. Heck, I’m sure I said it in a class when I taught self-acceptance in a yoga setting a few years ago. 

Sure, breathing is something we all do. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be living right now. However, some teach breathing as a right or wrong way... it’s right if we’re breathing deeply and it’s bringing us “peace” or enlightenment. 

Many teachers teach this as a way to safely come to the body, but for many this isn’t a feeling of safety. I can’t tell you how many times I sat in a yoga class and just rolled my eyes when someone said this. For some of us, breathing deeply isn’t easy nor natural, and it’s not a comfort. Maybe our caregiver subscribed to the teaching to let your infant cry until they had soothed themselves (which we now know is completely the opposite), our caregivers never rested us on their chest so that we could feel the calmness of their breath and we learned this soothing rhythm, we developed trauma, or some other reason.

We can’t breathe wrong. Because of trauma from my parents, I never learned how to breathe deeply and I’ve always breathed into my chest. Obviously, it works because I’m still alive. But, little-by-little I’ve wanted to experience breathing as I see my husband breathe. I know there are benefits to allowing our bodies to breathe as a body naturally would as it transitions from one need to another (ex. restful sleep, more energy for running, faster breath when something scary happens and then the body naturally settles on its own, etc.)

A couple of months ago, my husband and I bought an indoor bike and we subscribed to a popular fitness tool. In this, the instructors talk about breathing, but one or two teachers started talking about it in a way that finally made sense to me. They talked about imaging a birthday cake... when you breathe in you’re smelling the cake and when you exhale you’re blowing out the birthday cake candles. This makes sense to me and it’s something enjoyable and easy for me to practice.

So, if you’ve ever been taught to “just breathe” and you’ve felt ashamed because you couldn’t do it the way that was prescribed or it brought up trauma for you, you’re not alone. You are breathing perfectly no matter how you are breathing. If at some point you want to try something new, keep looking until you find what excites you. After all, you are the only guru.

— Lisa Pratt, February 2021