This morning I had an aha moment for healing. So, here it goes!
You know how your back itches... that place where you can’t get to? No matter how much you wish it would stop itching or that you could easily reach that spot, you just can’t. Eventually you ask someone to put lotion on your back. It’s soothing and you feel relief. Eventually the dryness and itching comes back so you may try to find relief on your own and then ask for help again.
With gentle care and safety from the other as you continue to ask for help, your back starts to heal, but there will always be moments of needing help from someone in reaching that spot you just can’t reach.
This is what I noticed from my perspective as I put lotion on my husband’s back this morning. I could see small scratches before I put the lotion on his back, but as soon as I put the lotion on, all of the hidden scratches stood out bright and red. I thought, “This is interesting...” Even though the scratches became evident, he felt relief with the lotion on his back. For now, the scratches are a little less red, but they are still there and will need a few more rounds of lotion.
What needs healed within each of us is so often hidden until we ask for help and a person of safety comes in to help us. We can’t do it on our own and they can’t help us until we voice our need.
So often we see movies or shows about how someone comes into our life, we fall in love, and all of our problems are magically healed. But, here’s the reality... it isn’t until we’re given safety that everything that needs healing within us starts to emerge. It’s actually in this time when the healing that needs our care starts to find its way out to heal.
As I come to another layer of healing with C-PTSD, I can now stand back and see how my husband now needs healing, too. It’s time for me to give him the safety that he has given me and to help his healing while I also figure out how to self-care.
No matter how far we move in healing, there’s always going to be an itchy back with a place that we can’t get to... we’re always going to need to do our part while asking for help from a safe person.
How’s your itchy back today?
Lisa Pratt, February 2021
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