A Burden Released

A Burden Released

As children, we adopt a role that we feel will best keep us safe in this world.  Do you know what role you adopted? 

Today I'm waking up to the realization of what mine has been.  It's time to change.

When we started into the pandemic, I decided that I would 1) come out of this a better person, and 2) take an honest look at the world with the hope that what I believed about humans as a child would be proven wrong.

It's strange to me that my becoming a better person is the total opposite of what humans would tell me.  Humans would tell me to continue with the role that it taught me as a child.  I now know so clearly that humans are so wrong about almost everything.

I can now see so clearly my childhood with my parents in front of my eyes and I can no longer ignore that what I thought as a child about humans was sadly right.  I see how I was taught by humans that this was the "right" thing - to people-please.  I see so clearly now how humans are refusing to change even in the last 50 years of my life.  

To keep myself safe as a child, I became the "absolver" and "absorber".  People could come to me with anything and I would have an opinion about it, but make sure they knew they were still loved by me and they were still a good person.  I absolved and absorbed their burden as they went on relieved to be feeling better.  I now see how my doing this for humans has enabled to keep them in a stuck pattern of choosing poorly, looking to be absolved (by god, their priest/preacher, a friend, etc.), feeling immediate relief and then going immediately back out and doing the exact same thing. I have been a part of creating this pattern for people... until today.  Today, every human gets to carry their own burden.  It's time for me to lose the weight of humans.

As I look at the choices humans are making, I've grown quite depressed.  I've been grieving with open eyes and an open heart.  The good thing about grief when we step into it openly, is that we can finally come to an acceptance and release.

It's time for me to no longer be the absolver... I will no longer carry people's burdens for them so that they can continue to be harmful without ever doing better.  I am releasing that burden and that role today.

In the release of the burden and role, I am lost.  Who am I if I'm choosing to no longer carry the burden for humans? My hope that this would change humans is now clear that it will not work.  My survival mind fears that I will now die.  I'm willing to take that chance so that I can now be free.

We are a world full of humans who love to blame or credit for our poor choices (whoever they can - especially a President) without realizing that it's when we take responsibility, that's when we can create change.

We continue to tell humans that it's okay... they're doing the best they can.  How incredibly wrong and limiting to humans.  We most definitely are NOT doing the best we can... we are SO much more capable than some people give us credit for and for what some want to take responsibility for.

We continue to tell humans to be kind to others.  The extreme problem with that is 1) kindness isn't a choice... it's natural.  What you want people to do is to make a CHOICE to be NICE.  2) The people who are kind continue to be abused because they're told that's what a "good" person does.  Stop it! You can be kind and stand up for what is rightfully yours.. the way you rightfully deserve to be treated.

With eyes wide open, I'm now understanding more about humans and understanding why I feel embarrassed and disappointed to be a human.  We've missed our chance to do better.  We've limited ourselves and far too many are okay with that because they've had someone to absolve them so that they could continue to not take responsibility.  I will no longer absolve you so that you can continue to not take responsibility.

So, here I am today... 1) to give humans a pep talk... We can choose to do better - we're not as limited as we've been taught that we are.  2) I am releasing the burden and role that I've held on to my entire life.  It kept me safe until today.  It's time to go into the lost to find me.  It's time for you to actually know what all you are capable of and to carry your own weight.  I am free.

-- Lisa Pratt, May 2020