A Realistic Life

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Posted by Brian on October 29, 2019

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Mermaids In The Mountains

Healthy relationships grow and change constantly and they can be the hardest relationships to maintain. Healthy relationships require our constant attention and willingness to continue to put work into them. Without that willingness, relationships can easily become stagnant. Within the growth and change are also some key foundational aspects that may always stay the same. Sometimes this takes some investigating to find. I lovingly refer to Brian and me as awkward introverts. We weren't taught by our parents how to be easily social and it's something that is extremely difficult for both of us. The easiest way for us to be social is if we are in charge of something (like our past running group) so that people seek us out to start a conversation. It's strange to us that most people like us, but we always have the same voice running through our heads telling us that no one will ever like us. We love being together and it's easy for us t...

The Relationships We Create

Re-la-tion-ship: the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected. If you're reading this post, I assume it's because you want to explore relationships in some way. Relationships are very personal to each of us and, I hope that I can provide some insights or inspirations based upon my realistic life. Relationships seem like they should be so easy, but often times they aren't. Why is that? Relationships can enhance our lives while, other times, seem to destroy us. They can help us in knowing that we are supported, loved, and cared for or they can demean, diminish and, leave us feeling lifeless. It is my opinion that everything in our life is a relationship. The most obvious is our relationships to other humans or our pets, but we may also have relationships with many other things, including: money, a god, a practice, a belief, a career, our values, our morals, politics, possessions, food, a...

Do Our Teachings Create Safety?

A few years ago, while at an appointment with my PTSD therapist, she asked me what I was feeling. As always, I was able to easily name off what I was feeling as emotion from what my brain translated the feelings to be (sadness, anger, etc.). When she asked me where I was feeling any type of sensation in my body, well, my answer was the same as every other day: my jaw, head, shoulders, stomach - all tense. As we talked through the process of feeling, I asked her, "Okay, this is great, but what do I do with these feelings?" She was confused and asked me to repeat my question. Her answer was, "Well, you feel them". Through the years, as my therapist gave me a place to freely express myself authentically without changing it, I started to understand healthy safety. Exploring Safety As my husband and I were delving into a next step in our relationship a few months ago, we talked about how we needed to feel safe individually and as a couple. At first,...

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